Letting go of something that has had a significant impact on your life is hard. A past relationship can be one of these things. When divorce happens, it can take a long time to move past the life you had in marriage, the hurt, the loss, the regret. We can become tethered to that past, preventing ourselves from moving forward.
It’s like a horse pulling a wagon up a hill…there is a constant tension present – necessary to keep the wagon tethered to the horse. That tension can eat away at us, keeping us from finding happiness again. It distracts us from stretching forward, forcing us to glance behind.
Letting go is a process; it takes time. One of the reasons it’s so difficult to let go of the past is because it’s familiar. Letting go means becoming vulnerable enough to move into the unknown – the future.
Here are some suggestions to start the process of untethering yourself from the past:
1. Acknowledge what is holding you back and why you need to move past it.
Tony Robbins calls this one of the most important parts of the process because having a reason and purpose to drive you forward will help you stay focused.
“The past should be a learning experience not an everlasting punishment. What’s done is done.” – Unknown
2. Focus on yourself.
Now is the time to take care of you. Releasing negative emotions, changing bad habits, creating new rituals are all ways of moving forward. These take time however, so it’s important to give yourself permission to take this time to work through them. Escape to a spa or retreat, practice mindfulness, learn something new, take up a new hobby.
“Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon rea lize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.” – Eckhart Tolle
3. Journal the journey.
Write those thoughts, lessons and emotions down. It becomes the building blocks of moving forward and embracing the transformation of you.
“Journal writing gives us insights into who we are, who we were, and who we can become.” – Sandra Marinella
4. Surround yourself with positive people.
More good advice from Mr. Robbins. The more you are around positive people who are focused on growth and progress, the easier it will be for you to move forward. This also falls into the law of attraction. The more positive you are, the more you will attract positive things into your life making it easier for you to let go of the negative past.
“If you want light to come into your life, you need to stand where it is shining.” – Guy Finley