2019 has really been a year of transition around the world. There have been MANY firsts as well as MANY finales.
- The final Star Wars movie has just been released
- An image of the Black Hole was finally unveiled
- A stem cell transplant made the test patient’s HIV “undetectable”
- China landed on the far side of the moon, the first time in history
- Elton John embarked on an epic global farewell tour
- Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris went up in flames
- Donald Trump was the third president in US history to be impeached
- Game of Thrones and The Big Bang Theory television series ended
- We learned how to Tidy Up with Marie Kondo
- Uber went public in May, starting at $45 per share
… and so much more. And 2019 is not just the end of a year, but it’s the end of a decade too. A lot has happened for us to celebrate and for us to mourn. But, what is important to remember going into 2020 is that a new year is an amazing opportunity for us to grow and reinvent who we are.
The marriage may have ended this year, or the divorce that had been dragging on may have been finalized, or perhaps this is your final New Year’s Eve as a married couple. Whatever the situation, 2020 is a year that could be all yours. Your relationship may be over, but your life is not.
And as cliche as it may sound, the new year is a brand new opportunity to reinvent yourself, your life, and your own mental and physical health. So here are some ways you can take care of yourself in the new year.
- Make good choices for good health. You’d be surprised what this can do for every part of your life. Execute a nutritious meal plan with recipes and grocery lists. If you’re not a 5AM gym type of person, there are many ways to get more active. Go on walks after dinner, take the stairs instead of the elevator, take some classes… the list is endless. Eating well and being more active awakens you from the core, so your body and mind are all willing to accept change.
- Avoid making excuses to be social, and say YES to everything. If there’s a concert you want to see, don’t make excuses – just go. I go to lots of concerts and plays alone and always meet someone new to chat with… or, I just enjoy the show if I want to be alone. If you’re invited to a get-together, say YES! You’ll never know if it’s a good time if you don’t go. Happy hour cocktails with co-workers? Try it once! If you go and hate it, leave. Just give it a shot though, you may surprise yourself.
- Find a hobby. Perhaps crafting, sports, DIY projects at home, or something else will really tickle your fancy. Hobbies will exercise your mind and when you do something you genuinely enjoy, you’ll start to smile more. I love to quilt, and my first year alone I would make Saturday nights my night to pull out a quilt and a threaded needle, eat Kraft Dinner for supper, and binge watch Sex and The City. It was so therapeutic!
- Clean and declutter! I wrote about this in extensive detail a few months ago here, but decluttering your life after divorce will do so much for your mind. Purging was a source of liberation and peace for me. You’ll likely find that too.
- Volunteer. What you’re going through is a lot, and you’ll make it through with time. There are some people out there who are in need of your help – give it. Doing good for your community and getting out there to help others who need a hand will leave you feeling fulfilled too. Guaranteed. I started volunteering at Meals on Wheels to put my energy into something productive. I felt such joy that I’ve never left!
- Understand your cash flow. Your finances may have taken a hit during the divorce process. The best way to start fresh this year is to write out a budget. Yes, that dirty word – budget. Figure out your expenses, areas where you can cut back, write out your financial goals, and put a plan together that works for you. It’s all about feeling empowered. Knowing where your money is going IS empowering. Don’t forget to save for that trip away – you’ve earned it!
- Focus on your future. You may be a little bruised, but you are alive and have so many new things to look forward to. Put together a little vision board of what you want your life to look like – your future income, the places you will travel, the people you will meet, who you will date. In healing from divorce, I learned to let go of my former plans, and embrace new ones. My vision board had my future husband on it, my financial goals, my bucket-list trips, healthy relationships with my children, dancing lessons and more. It literally changed my life, seeing that vision board every day – it represented hope.
- Try something new or something that scares you. 2020 is going to be a year of reinvention and repair. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “you gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” Simply put, fear is a bully! When you give in to it, it gains power. But, when you acknowledge fear and still move forward, you build courage. So, give it a shot. Try public speaking, or enter a marathon, or teach a class. To myself I always say, “Face your fear, then do it anyways”.
- Work on your relationships. When you’re going through a life change, you get busy and overwhelmed. You may have been neglecting the wonderful people in your life. Spend this time really fostering those relationships and bringing them back to life. Play with your kids. Go for dinner with your sister. Honour your parents with a note. Show gratitude to your BFF who’s been there by your side through this journey.
- Take a vacation. Whether you’re alone or with friends and/or family, get away. Sure, vacations are expensive, then do a “staycation”! There are many inexpensive ways to get away close to home, or even cheap island vacations if that’s more your speed. Get away, recharge, focus on you. Oh, and take me with you… it’s SO COLD!
I’ve been seeing a hashtag trending lately on social media: #2020Vision. I couldn’t love it more. This new decade is an opportunity for us to own our new lives, and become the best we possibly can be! We’ve seen a lot, we’ve been through a lot, now we can go into the new decade with a much more clear vision of what’s best for us.
As always, I’m here to answer your questions and lead you in the right direction. Remember, you’re not alone. Contact me today!